Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
