i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
