Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
