awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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