hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
