just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
