why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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