first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
