I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
