is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
