wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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