those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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