please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
