So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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