I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
