Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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