why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
