i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
