What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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