he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how do flat chested girls get laid?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
