I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
