Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
