He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
