Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
