So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize