Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
