She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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