smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
