people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
