OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
