I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
