I cockslap morals
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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