i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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