alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
