but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
