These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
