I got chris browned last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
