Ketchup is God's man juice
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
