You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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