So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
