Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
