I will die if light touches me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
