did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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