No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
