I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
