You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
