too bad you live with your parents still
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
