If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
