Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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