I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
